Back in the saddle again...
Oh how I've missed sitting here! It's been so long since I've been on blogger (ohhh...about 4 months or so anyway) that the entire friggen website just went up and changed faces on me! I don't know how to navigate anything. I'm lucky I even figured out how to type a new post.
Anywho...so I'm back for a bit just to throw out a couple typed sentences just in case anyone still reads this crap. I realized the reason I stopped blogging is because I'm clearly incapable of tossing down a few paragraphs and then wrapping things up. My blogs always took me an hour or more to type and they were ten pages long and I probably lost most of the audience half way through. I've decided to try something new, we'll see if it sticks. I was thinking if I can force myself to take my 420 characters allowed for a Facebook status update down a 160 character Tweet...well then why can't I do the same on my blog? Here goes nothing...
My first, and most important!, update is that my face cleared up. Yes, yes...I know you were all sitting and waiting with bated breath...but finally one day I woke up with the perfect peach fuzz face devoid of the the zit monster. Well, no...it was a long slow painful process that started with one zit disappearing and then another one not showing up. One by one my face became the baby butt smooth it likes to be while under the care of the hormones provided by my birth control pills. Since I'm not having sex, the pills are completely useless otherwise. But I will gladly pay for them and keep my beautiful face, relatively, zit-free. Period week aside of course.
So yeah, big shocker in that last paragraph. Family readers beware: I'm not having sex. It's really tragic. I have hit another dry spell. It hasn't been Sahara city down there since I first moved to Madison. It makes me cranky. And horny. And lonely. As Carrie Bradshaw once expertly deduced...sometimes you just need the weight of a man on top of you! The big broad shoulders to hold on to. The face to look up at. The cute butt to grab. Yikes...this is getting to be too much for someone who got her arm humped by a wiener dog and then realized it was the most action she'd seen since 2010. Cry for me now Argentina.
I tried online dating. Again. Only because people kept asking "have you tried online dating?" It's like "the thing" to ask single people who say they are having a hard time meeting people. But have you tried online dating? I did try it years ago. I hated it then, I hate it even more now. A bunch of pretentious dicks who think they're too good to date anyone who isn't bodysize: slender. No fatties please. Oh, okay...well no assholes please. The ones who do message me look like something out of the Goonies. And I don't mean Chunk. I mean the big guy with the lopsided face who likes to eat Baby Ruth's.
I did have one guy from match.com who emailed me a lot and then texted me a bunch. Then we set up a date to go to the Comedy Club. At noon, the day of, I heard my text message sound and just knew he was standing me up. I didn't even have to read his half-assed excuse to know he was lying and just didn't want to go. It was total bullshit. The guys online are total bullshit. They either think they're too good for me, or I know I'm too good for them. So it's a heinous cycle where I will never find a man to date unless I lose half my body size, fake bake, then highlight my hair until it looks like straw. So yes guys, I've tried online dating.
Besides that...shit is same old same old. Working hard every day for the money at a job I'm well over qualified for getting paid less than the girl who just got hired because she had "experience" that I also pretty much had when I got hired, but am a giant pushover so I didn't bother asking for more money and I doubt they'd have given it to me anyway. You know, daily grind type of stuff. Finally I've decided to stop bitching about my situation and actually change it. Surprise! People can change!
I'm working at a job that bores me to death in an industry where ass-kissing is boss, high school kids without degrees get jobs just as easily as ones who spent $30,000 on college, and everyone just sits around eating and getting fat....I've finally grabbed life by the balls and sent in an application for grad school. Well, not really grad school, it's just continuing education to receive a teaching certificate so that I can teach HS. Despite my utter lack of enthusiasm as I type this, I really am excited.
I haven't been excited about life for a really long time. I've been punching the clock day in and day out since the day I graduated college. I've been grumbling, albeit quite loudly, about how much I hate working in insurance since the day I got hired at the first insurance company (I'm now on company #3). And I've been whining like a little bitch about how I spent so much money to get a useless degree. Well...I finally put my money where my mouth is and got the ball rolling towards my future.
Here's hoping I can actually pull this thing off! Being a teacher is something I've wanted to be since I knew what jobs were. When they ask you as a kid what you want to be, I always said teacher. And I wanted to teach whatever grade level I was in at the time because I loved school! I was a great student. I lost my way in my late teen years because I hated the small-town mentality. I wanted to live among the cultured and open-minded. I wanted to meet other people who had been out of the country and experienced life away from white, middle class, Wisconsin. I even liked high school. Did really well and had a lot of friends. But all I had on my mind was BIGGER and better things than where I was. I wanted to see the world outside of my little life!
Well, I saw a bit of the world. I walked out of high school as a young naive little prude who had never done anything worse than get a little tipsy on some low alcohol content fruity drinks. College opened my eyes to the bigger picture. I met all kinds of people who were so different from me. I let the ones I trusted show me the way in to temptation! And boy did I partake in temptation! Still do. But you know what? The day I decide to settle down, I will have no regrets. And I think I'm ready for that time to come. I am still out enjoying the world and living for the moment...but my eyes are on the prize. The second I get that acceptance letter...my life will really begin.
Oh yeah...and I started Weight Watchers again. Yikes.
Anywho...so I'm back for a bit just to throw out a couple typed sentences just in case anyone still reads this crap. I realized the reason I stopped blogging is because I'm clearly incapable of tossing down a few paragraphs and then wrapping things up. My blogs always took me an hour or more to type and they were ten pages long and I probably lost most of the audience half way through. I've decided to try something new, we'll see if it sticks. I was thinking if I can force myself to take my 420 characters allowed for a Facebook status update down a 160 character Tweet...well then why can't I do the same on my blog? Here goes nothing...
My first, and most important!, update is that my face cleared up. Yes, yes...I know you were all sitting and waiting with bated breath...but finally one day I woke up with the perfect peach fuzz face devoid of the the zit monster. Well, no...it was a long slow painful process that started with one zit disappearing and then another one not showing up. One by one my face became the baby butt smooth it likes to be while under the care of the hormones provided by my birth control pills. Since I'm not having sex, the pills are completely useless otherwise. But I will gladly pay for them and keep my beautiful face, relatively, zit-free. Period week aside of course.
So yeah, big shocker in that last paragraph. Family readers beware: I'm not having sex. It's really tragic. I have hit another dry spell. It hasn't been Sahara city down there since I first moved to Madison. It makes me cranky. And horny. And lonely. As Carrie Bradshaw once expertly deduced...sometimes you just need the weight of a man on top of you! The big broad shoulders to hold on to. The face to look up at. The cute butt to grab. Yikes...this is getting to be too much for someone who got her arm humped by a wiener dog and then realized it was the most action she'd seen since 2010. Cry for me now Argentina.
I tried online dating. Again. Only because people kept asking "have you tried online dating?" It's like "the thing" to ask single people who say they are having a hard time meeting people. But have you tried online dating? I did try it years ago. I hated it then, I hate it even more now. A bunch of pretentious dicks who think they're too good to date anyone who isn't bodysize: slender. No fatties please. Oh, okay...well no assholes please. The ones who do message me look like something out of the Goonies. And I don't mean Chunk. I mean the big guy with the lopsided face who likes to eat Baby Ruth's.
I did have one guy from match.com who emailed me a lot and then texted me a bunch. Then we set up a date to go to the Comedy Club. At noon, the day of, I heard my text message sound and just knew he was standing me up. I didn't even have to read his half-assed excuse to know he was lying and just didn't want to go. It was total bullshit. The guys online are total bullshit. They either think they're too good for me, or I know I'm too good for them. So it's a heinous cycle where I will never find a man to date unless I lose half my body size, fake bake, then highlight my hair until it looks like straw. So yes guys, I've tried online dating.
Besides that...shit is same old same old. Working hard every day for the money at a job I'm well over qualified for getting paid less than the girl who just got hired because she had "experience" that I also pretty much had when I got hired, but am a giant pushover so I didn't bother asking for more money and I doubt they'd have given it to me anyway. You know, daily grind type of stuff. Finally I've decided to stop bitching about my situation and actually change it. Surprise! People can change!
I haven't been excited about life for a really long time. I've been punching the clock day in and day out since the day I graduated college. I've been grumbling, albeit quite loudly, about how much I hate working in insurance since the day I got hired at the first insurance company (I'm now on company #3). And I've been whining like a little bitch about how I spent so much money to get a useless degree. Well...I finally put my money where my mouth is and got the ball rolling towards my future.
Here's hoping I can actually pull this thing off! Being a teacher is something I've wanted to be since I knew what jobs were. When they ask you as a kid what you want to be, I always said teacher. And I wanted to teach whatever grade level I was in at the time because I loved school! I was a great student. I lost my way in my late teen years because I hated the small-town mentality. I wanted to live among the cultured and open-minded. I wanted to meet other people who had been out of the country and experienced life away from white, middle class, Wisconsin. I even liked high school. Did really well and had a lot of friends. But all I had on my mind was BIGGER and better things than where I was. I wanted to see the world outside of my little life!
Well, I saw a bit of the world. I walked out of high school as a young naive little prude who had never done anything worse than get a little tipsy on some low alcohol content fruity drinks. College opened my eyes to the bigger picture. I met all kinds of people who were so different from me. I let the ones I trusted show me the way in to temptation! And boy did I partake in temptation! Still do. But you know what? The day I decide to settle down, I will have no regrets. And I think I'm ready for that time to come. I am still out enjoying the world and living for the moment...but my eyes are on the prize. The second I get that acceptance letter...my life will really begin.
Oh yeah...and I started Weight Watchers again. Yikes.
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