I am one of those melodramatic fools...
So recently, I have found myself starting blogs and then not finishing them…or finishing them but not posting them. I’ve written probably 4 or 5 different blogs and they are just sitting on my computer taking up space. Why, you ask? Because they are total crap! They are just me bitching about life and how much it sucks and it’s nothing I would ever want to read. So that’s why I didn’t post them. If I wouldn’t read it, I wouldn’t expect anyone else to either.
My life used to resemble Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride with crazy twists and turns and never knowing where you’re going or who you’re going to bump in to…literally. Now it’s more like It’s A Small World with nothing but a bunch of small children singing and dancing. No…what I mean to say is it’s tame as hell. You could leave your small child with me for a week and they will come out the other end unscathed. Wait a minute…that sounded bad…
Okay…end of Disneyland ride analogy.
I have nothing to write about. I don’t have any money to spend. I don’t have that many friends up for clubbing it these days. And I look like hell too. I gained back all the weight I lost in ’08 and frankly it’s taken a toll on my self-esteem and my god damn wardrobe. I have shirts for days just a hanging there never to be worn because they look like shit on me now. Not to mention the 4 or so pairs of jeans that stay folded year round because I can’t button them. Fan-fucking-tastic I say.
I used to look good and I used to have a lot of fun looking good. Now I’m just overly round with dark roots and a pizza face. What the hell happened to me? I fucked things up royally.
I stopped working out and started eating whatever the hell I wanted. There goes all my hard work and the clothes I bought to show it off. Then I stopped taking birth control because I lost my insurance. There goes my clear skin and ability to ward of unwanted pregnancies. Not that it matters cuz I’m not getting laid anymore anyway. And I had good hair…it was long and my natural color. But I had low self-esteem…so first I cut it, and then I highlighted it. Changing my hair changed nothing and now I’m broke as a joke and watch every day as my roots grow in and my ends split out.
Seriously can someone please find me a time machine and let me warp back a couple years! I didn’t just fuck up my appearance…I fucked up my life! I made two horrible decisions in 2009. One was quitting my job that paid me $5,000 more a year than I make now. Yes, I was miserable but god damn it I had money! I was never broke. I never would have spent 2 weeks trying to hold on to $150. Never. I always had enough money to go out every weekend. And that’s exactly what I did.
I don’t have the time or energy to explain why I quit. Those that know me well…know why I did. Suffice it to say that company hires morons and they all worked above me. Little did I know how cushy the job was until I got another one and was able to compare. But I digress. Our internet policy forbids us from posting anything about our job so I won’t be starting a blog about my career any time soon.
The second thing I did that fucked up my life was moving in with yet another roommate. Having had the last 5 or so roommate situations all end badly…you’d think I’d learn! You’d think I realize that I am just not a good roommate and that I need to live alone. But alas, the thought of saving a couple hundred bucks a month always seem to outweigh my sanity…for whatever reason.
So I moved from the west side to downtown and drained my entire bank account. I cashed out my 401K to pay my rent. I saved no money living with a roommate because it was downtown. In fact, I paid about $50 more a month to live down there with someone than I do now to live alone. And it was the worst decision of my recent life!
The hell I went through to get out of that situation! Jesus. When all was said and done, I turned around and looked behind me and all that I saw were the charred remains of something that could have been good. It looked like I had burned one too many bridges that time and I was thisclose to ending up on the damn street because of it.
Not to mention the war between sides that really wasn’t a war…but sure made a lot of people uncomfortable…myself included. And I am still dealing with that to this day because unlike war, you can’t just leave the battle site. The memory of the battle stays with you and sometimes shows up at the same bar you’re at hanging out with your friends Switzerland and Canada.
This is where I stand and this is why my life is a shambles. Here I go saying I’m not posting my blogs because all I did was bitch in them and yet I still find myself bitching in this one. I guess I just have to get this out so that I can move on and start new.
I just wish I didn’t always have to learn my damn lessons the hard way. I never seem to get it through my thick skull that if you keep doing what you’ve always done…you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten. Is that proper English? You know what…I don’t care. This blog is not about being the perfect writer with proper grammar. Although I’m not sure exactly what this blog is about…I just know it’s not that. I guess it’s about being real. Real World style. I’m going to stop being polite, and start getting real. Don’t sue me MTV…I’m not trying to pull that one off as my own…
Thanks to the second half of 2009 and 2010 in its entirety thus far…I have nothing to blog about. The last 15 months of my life have been filled with more things I’d like to forget than to remember. While my friends were off getting married, having babies, starting new jobs they love, finishing school, buying new cars, buying houses, moving some place where it’s always sunny, starring in movies, starting new relationships, getting their face on a billboard, meeting celebrities, traveling around the world, and just having an all around good time…
I was busy fighting with roommates, moving out on leases before they were up, paying two rents, quitting jobs, not getting laid, gaining weight, paying bills late, receiving eviction notices, not knowing from day to day if I was going to get kicked out of where I was living, not knowing when I’d be able to sign a lease and settle in some where, sucking it up and going back to work for an industry I despise, hating my job all over again, having coworkers talk shit about me…again, living pay check to pay check, emptying my bank account, missing out on fun times because of my empty bank account, living off cereal and ramen noodles…need I really go on here?
I’m thinking that some of my best blog material will have to come from the stories of my past. I have some really good ones! I learned my lesson when I wrote about people in my life. They didn’t like it. I even gave people fake names. Unfortunately that was turned against me when my coworkers found out and figured out who I was talking about. So I can’t type up the things I’m doing and I can’t talk about the people I’m not doing. What the fuck do I talk about?
Chelsea Handler wrote a book called My Horizontal Life. Read it. Loved it. Wanna read it again. I found myself shaking my head because that used to be me with those stories. I used to be that girl. Okay, well, I’ve never brought a little person home…or been on a cruise ship…or punched a dude in the face when he came out of his dungeon/linen closet…but the similarities are there. I could write a book like that. I wish I had written that book…then maybe my dinner wouldn’t consist of minute rice and toast.
I don’t know who reads this. I don’t know if any of my family even dare to for fear that they might actually learn that I’m not a Christian and quite possibly going to hell. And I don’t think my friends spend too much time looking for 6 pages to read on my so-called fabulous life that’s not fabulous anymore…just poopy and uninteresting. So who does that leave actually reading this? Who knows? Blogger keeps a stats page and I see that every now and again I get a page view.
So for that one page viewer out there…I do believe I have found my muse. My ghosts of pussy past may just rear their ugly heads all for the sake of entertainment. Hey…it’s not like any of those guys are even friends with me on Facebook…let alone avid blog readers. No one will know who I’m talking about because I don’t converse with any of the same people that I did back when I was actually getting laid. It’s a whole new crop of folks with no connection whatsoever to my past or those in my past. Haha…and if you believe that…you’re more gullible than I am.
My life used to resemble Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride with crazy twists and turns and never knowing where you’re going or who you’re going to bump in to…literally. Now it’s more like It’s A Small World with nothing but a bunch of small children singing and dancing. No…what I mean to say is it’s tame as hell. You could leave your small child with me for a week and they will come out the other end unscathed. Wait a minute…that sounded bad…
Okay…end of Disneyland ride analogy.
I have nothing to write about. I don’t have any money to spend. I don’t have that many friends up for clubbing it these days. And I look like hell too. I gained back all the weight I lost in ’08 and frankly it’s taken a toll on my self-esteem and my god damn wardrobe. I have shirts for days just a hanging there never to be worn because they look like shit on me now. Not to mention the 4 or so pairs of jeans that stay folded year round because I can’t button them. Fan-fucking-tastic I say.
I used to look good and I used to have a lot of fun looking good. Now I’m just overly round with dark roots and a pizza face. What the hell happened to me? I fucked things up royally.
I stopped working out and started eating whatever the hell I wanted. There goes all my hard work and the clothes I bought to show it off. Then I stopped taking birth control because I lost my insurance. There goes my clear skin and ability to ward of unwanted pregnancies. Not that it matters cuz I’m not getting laid anymore anyway. And I had good hair…it was long and my natural color. But I had low self-esteem…so first I cut it, and then I highlighted it. Changing my hair changed nothing and now I’m broke as a joke and watch every day as my roots grow in and my ends split out.
Seriously can someone please find me a time machine and let me warp back a couple years! I didn’t just fuck up my appearance…I fucked up my life! I made two horrible decisions in 2009. One was quitting my job that paid me $5,000 more a year than I make now. Yes, I was miserable but god damn it I had money! I was never broke. I never would have spent 2 weeks trying to hold on to $150. Never. I always had enough money to go out every weekend. And that’s exactly what I did.
I don’t have the time or energy to explain why I quit. Those that know me well…know why I did. Suffice it to say that company hires morons and they all worked above me. Little did I know how cushy the job was until I got another one and was able to compare. But I digress. Our internet policy forbids us from posting anything about our job so I won’t be starting a blog about my career any time soon.
The second thing I did that fucked up my life was moving in with yet another roommate. Having had the last 5 or so roommate situations all end badly…you’d think I’d learn! You’d think I realize that I am just not a good roommate and that I need to live alone. But alas, the thought of saving a couple hundred bucks a month always seem to outweigh my sanity…for whatever reason.
So I moved from the west side to downtown and drained my entire bank account. I cashed out my 401K to pay my rent. I saved no money living with a roommate because it was downtown. In fact, I paid about $50 more a month to live down there with someone than I do now to live alone. And it was the worst decision of my recent life!
The hell I went through to get out of that situation! Jesus. When all was said and done, I turned around and looked behind me and all that I saw were the charred remains of something that could have been good. It looked like I had burned one too many bridges that time and I was thisclose to ending up on the damn street because of it.
Not to mention the war between sides that really wasn’t a war…but sure made a lot of people uncomfortable…myself included. And I am still dealing with that to this day because unlike war, you can’t just leave the battle site. The memory of the battle stays with you and sometimes shows up at the same bar you’re at hanging out with your friends Switzerland and Canada.
This is where I stand and this is why my life is a shambles. Here I go saying I’m not posting my blogs because all I did was bitch in them and yet I still find myself bitching in this one. I guess I just have to get this out so that I can move on and start new.
I just wish I didn’t always have to learn my damn lessons the hard way. I never seem to get it through my thick skull that if you keep doing what you’ve always done…you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten. Is that proper English? You know what…I don’t care. This blog is not about being the perfect writer with proper grammar. Although I’m not sure exactly what this blog is about…I just know it’s not that. I guess it’s about being real. Real World style. I’m going to stop being polite, and start getting real. Don’t sue me MTV…I’m not trying to pull that one off as my own…
Thanks to the second half of 2009 and 2010 in its entirety thus far…I have nothing to blog about. The last 15 months of my life have been filled with more things I’d like to forget than to remember. While my friends were off getting married, having babies, starting new jobs they love, finishing school, buying new cars, buying houses, moving some place where it’s always sunny, starring in movies, starting new relationships, getting their face on a billboard, meeting celebrities, traveling around the world, and just having an all around good time…
I was busy fighting with roommates, moving out on leases before they were up, paying two rents, quitting jobs, not getting laid, gaining weight, paying bills late, receiving eviction notices, not knowing from day to day if I was going to get kicked out of where I was living, not knowing when I’d be able to sign a lease and settle in some where, sucking it up and going back to work for an industry I despise, hating my job all over again, having coworkers talk shit about me…again, living pay check to pay check, emptying my bank account, missing out on fun times because of my empty bank account, living off cereal and ramen noodles…need I really go on here?
I’m thinking that some of my best blog material will have to come from the stories of my past. I have some really good ones! I learned my lesson when I wrote about people in my life. They didn’t like it. I even gave people fake names. Unfortunately that was turned against me when my coworkers found out and figured out who I was talking about. So I can’t type up the things I’m doing and I can’t talk about the people I’m not doing. What the fuck do I talk about?
Chelsea Handler wrote a book called My Horizontal Life. Read it. Loved it. Wanna read it again. I found myself shaking my head because that used to be me with those stories. I used to be that girl. Okay, well, I’ve never brought a little person home…or been on a cruise ship…or punched a dude in the face when he came out of his dungeon/linen closet…but the similarities are there. I could write a book like that. I wish I had written that book…then maybe my dinner wouldn’t consist of minute rice and toast.
I don’t know who reads this. I don’t know if any of my family even dare to for fear that they might actually learn that I’m not a Christian and quite possibly going to hell. And I don’t think my friends spend too much time looking for 6 pages to read on my so-called fabulous life that’s not fabulous anymore…just poopy and uninteresting. So who does that leave actually reading this? Who knows? Blogger keeps a stats page and I see that every now and again I get a page view.
So for that one page viewer out there…I do believe I have found my muse. My ghosts of pussy past may just rear their ugly heads all for the sake of entertainment. Hey…it’s not like any of those guys are even friends with me on Facebook…let alone avid blog readers. No one will know who I’m talking about because I don’t converse with any of the same people that I did back when I was actually getting laid. It’s a whole new crop of folks with no connection whatsoever to my past or those in my past. Haha…and if you believe that…you’re more gullible than I am.
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