Just another rant...
Okay...so I've got a few things I need to complain about. If you know me, complaining is one of my specialties. In fact, I'm hoping once I get these rants over with--I'll be able to move on and be more positive. The Secret to getting what you want is putting positive vibes out into the world. No seriously, that is The Secret. As in, that book and movie everyone was reading and talking about circa 2006. The idea that if you put out nothing but negativity--you get that back. In order to have good things happen, you have to put good thoughts out into the world. You have to have your end game manifested in your head and you need to constantly be thinking about your happy ending and it will come to you.
There you go, I just saved you an hour and a half of your life.
But before I have my positive epiphany...there are just a few things I need to get off my chest.
First and foremost: Men are a fucking disappointing species. Inside and out. I've met soooo many men in the past two years. Add to that all the men I met before I started online dating. Together that makes up almost the entire male population of Madison. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's Madison. Some people say that there's a man to blame. I would have to agree. It seems like if a man makes it to a certain age and is single, there is a very good reason for that.
For the longest time I have been using Plenty of Fish (POF to the lay man) to meet men. Why? Because it's free and right now there are over 500,000 men online in my area. On POF I'm pretty highly ranked. Most men and women on this website are the people who shop at Walmart and get pictures posted of them online. It's really really hard to find someone you find attractive. It's harder to find someone who speaks clear and grammatically correct English. If you want to find someone who has both...well you better have all night to sift through the mess!
I met two guys on that website that I deemed both attractive and intelligent. And they seemingly thought the same of me. One decided after a month of hanging out, and subsequently sleeping together, that there was no spark. He texted me that. And we moved on.
Another I fell really super hard for, really quickly. In fact, previous blogs are definitely about him and to him. Yes, it was fast...but I fall for men like I fall asleep. First slowly, and then all at once. Thanks Fault in Our Stars for that line. It describes me perfectly. And the men are just what I always dreamed about. Until they're not. The mask comes off and I see them for what they are behind the smoke and mirrors I threw up to make them my perfect man.
Every other guy from that website has failed on an epic level in one way or another.
So I saw a Groupon for Match.com. For only $15 I got a one month membership...they're usually $45 or some such nonsense. Cheaper if you buy more months at a time, but you have to pay for it all at once. I was on it for three months last year and met one really great guy. He is also in one of my blogs. We hit it off immediately, but he's much too Republican for me. Also, he moved to Indiana. So there's that...
This time around...in three weeks I've gone on a first date with a guy who was all about me. Then when I didn't hear from him for three days, I was like, what's up guy? And he tells me he's terrible at dating. In fact, he doesn't know if he ever wants to be married and he was planning on taking his profile down. Despite reading my profile that clearly states I'm not on this site to make a bunch of booty calls. His profile is still up and he's still active...for the record.
The second guy I met out on a date. Not my type physically at all. But not a bad looking guy. And we talked all night. We have a million things in common from our political and religious views to our favorite Disney movie (Little Mermaid for the record.) We went on a second date right after I got my hair chopped and colored. He barely noticed. We did talk for 6 hours. But there was no chemistry. And I'm pretty sure he told me I was "good enough looking" when we talked types...and then later said my "voice can be grating," but not in a bad way. Just in a, I can hear you above the crowd way. We hugged good bye and he said he definitely wanted to see me again later in a text. Haven't heard from him since.
The third guy I originally met on POF. Turns out we work together at the hotel I work at downtown. Only he manages a different department on a different shift so we've never crossed paths. We fizzled out on POF because he never mentioned meeting and I didn't want a penpal. Well, he messaged me on Match. Said my new haircut looked "very pretty" and then "It looks great. You look great." Some people do deserve a second chance, right??
We decided that even though we work together, we don't want to accidentally meet at work. Let's meet outside of work on purpose. I was assured he's a really nice guy from our coworkers. And so he gives me his number. I text him hello. Nothing. A day goes by. He's online. He messages me online. I message him back. Nothing. Another day goes by. I message him online, he tells me he's deleting his profile and to text him. He texted me back this time, but not for very long. Two days go by. I message him a "hey, I'm free this week if you want to get a drink sometime." Nothing. I see him online (love technology) so I messaged him one last time, saying--I'll take that as a no, but feel free to text me if you change your mind. Nothing.
And that's that. My subscription is up next week--not sure if I'm going to take their 3 months for the price of 1 offer, or put that $35 towards a nice bottle of wine and a very lonely night with myself. Match.com doesn't have men who are any better at dating. They just have the money to prove it.
Forever stuck in single limbo because I'm not pretty enough for the guys I want and I'm too pretty for the ones who want me. It's a vicious cycle.
Perhaps if I still had a Grey's-Anatomy-coined "Person" I wouldn't be trying desperately to fill that void with a man. I miss my best friends. I've lost a few over the years to distance, to relationships, to whatever. If my person hadn't left me when I needed them the most, I wouldn't be so frantically trying to re-cast that spot in my life. I miss having a go-to. I dream about my long lost friends all the time because it just makes me so sad to not have them in my life anymore and it's my way of still having that. My friends mean everything to me. And even though it'd be great to have a man in my life...what I really want, and what I wish I still had, was my person.
I'm surrounded by great people, great friends, great coworkers, great family. I can typically fill up my week finding things to do and people to see...but it's just not the same. When something funny happens I don't have anyone to text. I post shit to Facebook all day long because at least then someone reads it. Someone may comment. Someone may laugh. It's validating that people at least "fake care" about what goes on in my life. This blog is also a perfect example. You're reading this right now with probably a mild fascination about what I say, but ultimately you will go on with your life and not really be touched by mine.
Most likely I am the one to blame for all of this. I can't imagine it's everyone else's fault that I find myself at this road in life alone. Maybe if I was less picky, less judgemental, a better friend. I always thought I was a good person...maybe I'm just too mopey and depressing. Perhaps I'm the dreaded "wet blanket" and that's why people keep walking out of my life.
I guess I'll have to go ahead and follow that Secret everyone was raving about as the self-help secret of the century! Couldn't hurt. You can't keep doing what you're doing and expect different results. The only way to change the outcome is to change what I output, right? Gotta put that positivity out there and perhaps someone just might bite. Here I go again on my own. Perhaps I wasn't destined to walk this lonely road alone. Thank you White Snake for giving me the words when I have nothing original to say.
Rant complete.
There you go, I just saved you an hour and a half of your life.
But before I have my positive epiphany...there are just a few things I need to get off my chest.
First and foremost: Men are a fucking disappointing species. Inside and out. I've met soooo many men in the past two years. Add to that all the men I met before I started online dating. Together that makes up almost the entire male population of Madison. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's Madison. Some people say that there's a man to blame. I would have to agree. It seems like if a man makes it to a certain age and is single, there is a very good reason for that.
For the longest time I have been using Plenty of Fish (POF to the lay man) to meet men. Why? Because it's free and right now there are over 500,000 men online in my area. On POF I'm pretty highly ranked. Most men and women on this website are the people who shop at Walmart and get pictures posted of them online. It's really really hard to find someone you find attractive. It's harder to find someone who speaks clear and grammatically correct English. If you want to find someone who has both...well you better have all night to sift through the mess!
I met two guys on that website that I deemed both attractive and intelligent. And they seemingly thought the same of me. One decided after a month of hanging out, and subsequently sleeping together, that there was no spark. He texted me that. And we moved on.
Another I fell really super hard for, really quickly. In fact, previous blogs are definitely about him and to him. Yes, it was fast...but I fall for men like I fall asleep. First slowly, and then all at once. Thanks Fault in Our Stars for that line. It describes me perfectly. And the men are just what I always dreamed about. Until they're not. The mask comes off and I see them for what they are behind the smoke and mirrors I threw up to make them my perfect man.
Every other guy from that website has failed on an epic level in one way or another.
So I saw a Groupon for Match.com. For only $15 I got a one month membership...they're usually $45 or some such nonsense. Cheaper if you buy more months at a time, but you have to pay for it all at once. I was on it for three months last year and met one really great guy. He is also in one of my blogs. We hit it off immediately, but he's much too Republican for me. Also, he moved to Indiana. So there's that...
This time around...in three weeks I've gone on a first date with a guy who was all about me. Then when I didn't hear from him for three days, I was like, what's up guy? And he tells me he's terrible at dating. In fact, he doesn't know if he ever wants to be married and he was planning on taking his profile down. Despite reading my profile that clearly states I'm not on this site to make a bunch of booty calls. His profile is still up and he's still active...for the record.
The second guy I met out on a date. Not my type physically at all. But not a bad looking guy. And we talked all night. We have a million things in common from our political and religious views to our favorite Disney movie (Little Mermaid for the record.) We went on a second date right after I got my hair chopped and colored. He barely noticed. We did talk for 6 hours. But there was no chemistry. And I'm pretty sure he told me I was "good enough looking" when we talked types...and then later said my "voice can be grating," but not in a bad way. Just in a, I can hear you above the crowd way. We hugged good bye and he said he definitely wanted to see me again later in a text. Haven't heard from him since.
The third guy I originally met on POF. Turns out we work together at the hotel I work at downtown. Only he manages a different department on a different shift so we've never crossed paths. We fizzled out on POF because he never mentioned meeting and I didn't want a penpal. Well, he messaged me on Match. Said my new haircut looked "very pretty" and then "It looks great. You look great." Some people do deserve a second chance, right??
We decided that even though we work together, we don't want to accidentally meet at work. Let's meet outside of work on purpose. I was assured he's a really nice guy from our coworkers. And so he gives me his number. I text him hello. Nothing. A day goes by. He's online. He messages me online. I message him back. Nothing. Another day goes by. I message him online, he tells me he's deleting his profile and to text him. He texted me back this time, but not for very long. Two days go by. I message him a "hey, I'm free this week if you want to get a drink sometime." Nothing. I see him online (love technology) so I messaged him one last time, saying--I'll take that as a no, but feel free to text me if you change your mind. Nothing.
And that's that. My subscription is up next week--not sure if I'm going to take their 3 months for the price of 1 offer, or put that $35 towards a nice bottle of wine and a very lonely night with myself. Match.com doesn't have men who are any better at dating. They just have the money to prove it.
Forever stuck in single limbo because I'm not pretty enough for the guys I want and I'm too pretty for the ones who want me. It's a vicious cycle.
Perhaps if I still had a Grey's-Anatomy-coined "Person" I wouldn't be trying desperately to fill that void with a man. I miss my best friends. I've lost a few over the years to distance, to relationships, to whatever. If my person hadn't left me when I needed them the most, I wouldn't be so frantically trying to re-cast that spot in my life. I miss having a go-to. I dream about my long lost friends all the time because it just makes me so sad to not have them in my life anymore and it's my way of still having that. My friends mean everything to me. And even though it'd be great to have a man in my life...what I really want, and what I wish I still had, was my person.
I'm surrounded by great people, great friends, great coworkers, great family. I can typically fill up my week finding things to do and people to see...but it's just not the same. When something funny happens I don't have anyone to text. I post shit to Facebook all day long because at least then someone reads it. Someone may comment. Someone may laugh. It's validating that people at least "fake care" about what goes on in my life. This blog is also a perfect example. You're reading this right now with probably a mild fascination about what I say, but ultimately you will go on with your life and not really be touched by mine.
Most likely I am the one to blame for all of this. I can't imagine it's everyone else's fault that I find myself at this road in life alone. Maybe if I was less picky, less judgemental, a better friend. I always thought I was a good person...maybe I'm just too mopey and depressing. Perhaps I'm the dreaded "wet blanket" and that's why people keep walking out of my life.
I guess I'll have to go ahead and follow that Secret everyone was raving about as the self-help secret of the century! Couldn't hurt. You can't keep doing what you're doing and expect different results. The only way to change the outcome is to change what I output, right? Gotta put that positivity out there and perhaps someone just might bite. Here I go again on my own. Perhaps I wasn't destined to walk this lonely road alone. Thank you White Snake for giving me the words when I have nothing original to say.
Rant complete.
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