How do you measure a year?

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When we're young, a year is like a lifetime.  And by "young" I'm talking pubescent.  As we're growing up in to "real" people...going through a year of life is like living, I'd say at least, 5 adult years.  Maybe more depending on what kind of life you live.  Once I graduated college, I feel like my life hit a plateau.  All of a sudden a year would go by in a blink.  Eyes open I'm 23...eyes closed I'm 26...eyes open again I'm 29.  I find myself wondering what the fuck just happened to the last decade...

Leaving 8th grade and starting high school is huge.  You become a completely different person over a summer. A summer!  Three months is all it takes for you to go from a sweet baby middle school kid to a high school teenager with an attitude and all the answers to life...despite having been on the earth for only 14 years.  And let's face it...for the first 2 to 4 years of your life you were learning how to not shit your pants, walk without holding your parent's hands, and put full sentences together.  So really, you have about a decade of life experience under your belt...but yeah, you know more than any adult thinks they can teach you.

Then the four years/lifetime you spend in high school will change you more than the first 14 years did.  Maybe not physically (unless you're a late bloomer or a male because they never really grow up) but mentally.  All of a sudden you have opinions, thoughts, hopes dreams, and a new best friend every year.  You want to be a teacher, then a counselor, then a dentist, then a doctor.  You change your mind and your life so many times that you start referring to time periods in clumps of a few months.  You can start out the school year with one set of friends/boyfriend/career choice...and change your mind or your friends 6 times before the school year is out.

So when you're life's experiences are so immense, a year can seem like forever.  When you had to wait 6 months for something to happen, let's say getting your driver's license, every single minute of every day counts.  When you're planning your future you have every possibility open to you.  There are infinite doors for you to open and walk through.  Open one door and you're off to California to study film.  Open another and you're off in the middle east fighting for your country.  Open the last door on the left and you're flipping burgers at McD's.  Hey, not all doors lead you to success...

As we get older...there are fewer doors to open.  Sometimes only windows.  And in worst case scenarios...they're locked forever.  The years start to fly by and it's so easy to get in to rut.  You wake up at the same time every day...you go to the same job...you work the same 8 hours...you go home...you do it again the next day.  No more summer breaks to have life-changing experiences.  There's so much responsibility that all of a sudden you can't remember the last time you "fill in the blank."  

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It's so weird to have the years breeze by like nothing.  Every year at this time people start looking back on the year they just had and looking forward to the year that is to come.  Exactly one year ago I was typing up a blog saying good bye to 2010 and had the highest of hopes for 2011.  And here I sit, one year later with nothing to report.  

The fact is, one year can still drastically change your life the way it did when you were in high school.  You can meet the man of your dreams and move in together.  You can plan and have the wedding of the century.  You can conceive and birth a child.  You can finish your degree and start a new career.  You can lose a close friend or relative.  But when you're an adult, the life-changing experiences are fewer and farther between.  

But alas, 2011 did not bring me any life-changing experiences.  All 2011 brought me was lessons.  I learned that a paycheck will not make you happy if you're miserable earning it.  I learned that I am far more envious of my successful friends than I ever thought was possible.  I learned that you can be rejected by someone you're not even interested in and it will still hurt your feelings.  I learned to give up on online dating and to stop listening to other people's dating advice.  I learned that it takes two people to sustain a friendship--and I'm not as good of a friend as I thought I was.  

One of the biggest lessons I learned is that I missed my family enough to move back in with my parents (as a side note: I was very successful on my own and didn't "need" to move back in with them--this is important for me to point out) until I found a job and an apartment in my hometown just to be near to them.  And probably the hardest/most expensive/worst life lesson I learned is that you will eventually get caught drinking and driving (in Reedsburg anyway) and it will ruin your life.

So now I say good bye to 2011.  I didn't meet a man.  I didn't get married.  I didn't have a baby.  I didn't graduate school.  I didn't start a career.  And, thankfully, I didn't lose anyone close to me.  I didn't do anything in 2011 but learn lessons.  I learned lessons and I made plans.  I sat down and had a discussion with the universe.  We have a mutual understanding of where I am headed.  If I'm going it alone...at least I know I have my friends and family there for me if I need them.  I'm tired of having the years go by and waiting for something to change.  

No one is going to ring me up one day with the perfect man to meet, who I will eventually marry and live a happy life with (side note: if you think you know a man who would be perfect for me, please ring me up).  No one is going to hand me a baby (well, not to keep anyway).  No one is going hand me a degree.  No one is going to hand me a career that I love.  I have to get these things for myself.  

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I am staring down the barrel of 30 and am finally ready to get my shit in order.  My 20's were one hell of a ride!  I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  I was so busy making sure I never ended up as one of those people who had to grow up too fast.  I wanted to have as much fun as was humanly possible and I'm pretty sure I achieved that many times over.  But one thing I didn't do was get my shit in order.  I didn't plan for the future.  I didn't worry about where the rest of my life was headed.  I feel like that's what your 20's are for, aren't they?

2011 was the last year of my 20's.  I will finish out 2012 as a newly-crowned 30-something.  So I am going in to 2012 with decisions and plans made.  Not just hopes and dreams.  I'm not going to say "I hope this happens" next year.  I'm going to make it happen.  Call me crazy, but I believe in the power of positive thinking.  Putting out in to the universe what it is you want and keeping positive about it is crucial to getting what you want and becoming what you want.  No one who sat around and bitched and moaned about their life ever got what they wanted.  They just keep bitching and moaning and having shitty things happen.  Of course that's a topic for another blog.  

Suffice it to say that even though nothing of great consequence happened to me in 2011 (though I had great hopes for the year)...I am even more positive that 2012 is where it's at.  The Mayans believed that the world would end in 2012.  If this is true, I want to make sure I did everything I could to make sure that it was a great life (side note: I don't really believe the world will end).  Everyone will stock up on bottled water, ala Y2K, and then when we wake up on 12/22/2012 we will realize that we're all stuck finishing out the year and making resolutions for 2013. 

Hey, 13 always was my lucky number ;)

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