That's not my name!

So you know how the night before Thanksgiving is the BIG night to go out in SMALL towns?  Well Reedsburg is no different.  Everyone comes home for the holiday and we all go out the night before and explore the "downtown life" of the 'burg.  I think this may be a tradition that I skip next year.  I don't even recognize the kids going out these days and that's because most of them weren't in HS until I graduated college.  Man that makes me feel old. 

In true small town fashion I went out with my BFF and had some beers.  We saw a lot of folks I went to school with, but Facebook has really taken all the surprise out of seeing someone you haven't seen in a while. You feel like you see these people all the time when really you're just reading their daily status updates and seeing all their newly posted pictures.  I think some people know me better via Facebook than they ever did in school...

Apparently the 9 years we've been out of school has caused some people to forget how to pronounce my name.  Seriously.  I went to school with some of these people since the 7th grade and still when I see them I get "What's up Alisha?"  Alisha?  Really?  In school you get used to hearing people's names out loud because people are constantly talking about everyone else.  I guess Facebook has taken out that element.  All you do now is read names.  I guess Alicia can be read as Alisha.  However...that's not my name!

I think I'm more embarrassed for the person who mispronounces my name than they are for doing it.  I didn't bother to correct any of my classmates.  It's not really worth it.  I suppose those people that remember how to correctly say my name are people I still actively talk to and that's really all that matters.  But to watch some of these people stumble over the name was a bit comical after a while.  Maybe I should just be happy they remember my name at all.  The people who just said "hey" are either the smart ones to not try and pronounce it after all these years...or they just forgot it all together.

This doesn't really make me want to attend my 10 year reunion next year.  If we wear name tags everyone will read my name and then say it wrong with confidence!  Blech to that.  I HATE the name Alisha.  If you know me, and how to correctly say my name, then you know that one fact.  I think it's one of the ugliest names ever because it's not my name, but it's what people seem to want to call me.  I work with two girls who's names are Elise and Alyse and NO one gets those names wrong.  Perhaps if my dad could've just left off that last "ia" of my name I wouldn't have to spend my entire life correcting, or not bothering to correct, people.


It's a really specific list of who gets corrected and who doesn't.  If I hear you say my name wrong, but previously I've heard you say it right...then I usually chalk it up to your laziness.  If you are constantly saying my name wrong--as old people usually do, or people I work with, or old people I work with--then I will probably let you just continue to call me that because I will chalk you up to a lost cause.  For some reason, the older you are, the harder it is to say my name.

If you will only ever have to utter my name once...i.e. nurse, customer service rep, front desk lady, customer at work, etc...then I will tolerate the inevitable Alisha.  People I will never see again are not worth correcting.  It just makes me feel weird to correct people I don't know.  If they totally brutalize it then I will correct it.  This only happens when I say my name aloud and they repeat it back as Alishia, Alissia, Alissa, or some other concoction.  Of course if you read my name and still call me Allison...well I will correct that too.

If we're going to fuck and you still don't have my name right...I will correct you.  I do not want some guy thinking he's fucking an Alisha when he's really fucking an Alicia.  I mean, it sounds sexier don't you think?  However, on the flip side, if we've already fucked and I don't plan to ever see you again...well go ahead and call me Sarah if you like.  I probably won't remember your name if it's Dan, John, Jake, Mike, Ryan, or Jason because I've doubled up on all those names and they all sort of run together now anyway.

Sometimes I just want to wear a name tag that says A-LEE-SEE-A.  Or perhaps a sign that says "Alicia: If you failed HS Spanish you won't be able to pronounce it."  I just really like it when I have that friend who will absolutely not tolerate someone saying it wrong.  In college you meet hundreds of people and when you're all drunk in a loud basement party, it's hard to hear things correctly anyway.  When you're shaking hands with people and they give you the quizzical look and try to repeat what they think they heard--that's the cue for that friend to chime in "It's A-lee-see-a!"  I had some friends who were very adamant on making sure it wasn't mispronounced and I sometimes wish I could wear a little version of them on my shoulder for those moments listed above!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my name.  I do.  It's original.  I have only met 2 other Alicia's...one was the name of a little girl when we were in Spain and another was a Mexican girl who worked at a restaurant with me for about 3 days before she quit.  The only white girl I've ever heard of having my name is Alicia Silverstone.  Yes, her name is also said like mine so you best be correcting yourself the next time you talk about the movie Clueless and who stars in it!  But that's it.  I've never had a friend with my name or heard of anyone with relatives or friends with my name.  It's always always pronounced Alisha with a long or short "i" sound.

When people hear my name pronounced correctly I usually get told that my name is beautiful.  Not a lot of people hear that they have a beautiful name.  Some people make a big fuss over how pretty it sounds.  It's nice to get a little more attention from some hottie at a bar who wants to gush over your name.  At least it's something!  After hearing SOOO many people say it wrong, when I hear it said right I really really like to hear it.  As long as someone hears it before they read it, they can usually continue to say it right.  It's just when people read "Alicia" that they revert back to how they want to pronounce it.

If a guy I like says my name--and says it right--I pretty much melt.  That's probably weird for all you Katie's, Melissa's, Sarah's, Jessica's, Amanda's, and Jennifer's to understand.  I'm so used to hearing my name said wrong that when it's whispered correctly in my ear with a man's voice I can't even handle life!  I fully understand Drew Barrymore's character in Ever After when she has the prince say her REAL name over and over.  It's just really nice to hear it.

I slept with this guy--whose name I ironically can't remember right now--who loved my name so much he just kept saying it.  I met him at a bar and he butchered my name because the music was too loud to hear what I said.  I gave him this big schpiel about how I love to hear my name said correctly and he spent the rest of the night at the bar using my name in almost every sentence and flashing me this dirty smile.  So it was like, "Can  I get you another drink Alicia?  Alicia do you know this song?  Shall we go back to your place Alicia?"  Perhaps why he ended up in bed next to me later saying it.  It's too bad I never saw that guy again.  Wow, that story made me hot and then cold right away again...haha...oh well.  That's what I get for never exchanging numbers.

What it boils down to my friends is think about it long and hard when you sit down and write out names for your soon-to-be-born children.  Their name will mold what kind of person they will be.  It's a proven fact.  While exotic names are different and exciting...your child will probably spend their entire life correcting people.  The times I hear about how lovely my name is are really nice, but they are far outweighed by all the times I hear it verbally chewed up and then spit out.  I wonder how my name would need to be spelled to be correctly pronounced every time by native English speakers.  Spanish speakers will never have a problem pronouncing my name.  But if I moved to Mexico, my name would be as common as Jennifer...so I guess I'm spending the rest of my life correcting people...or cringing...or jumping in to bed with every guy who actually says it right...

That's all for now.  Until next time...